Poets, Philosophers and Politicians

So the medical center can’t decide what to pay healthcare providers because they have yet to develop a “compensation philosophy”.

I have a liberal arts education. I read Kant, Locke, Descartes but I never heard of a compensation philosopher. The management bargaining team assures us that the executive committee considers “compensation philosophy” a top priority. I imagine them all sitting around a steamy bathhouse in white towels contemplating different philosophical positions.

Maybe our compensation philosopher has a thick beard and an old pipe and is sitting out under tree somewhere vigorously contemplating. It is unclear to me which department ACMC’s philosopher would report to. I would suggest HR, that’s the department that seems most conducive to uninterrupted thought.

Still, one ponders, if we need a philosopher, shouldn’t we have a poet. You can get a good poet at a great price in the Bay Area but I think the poet should have union protections. Well, I find it comforting to know that our executive leaders have taken up the big philosophical questions and I’m eager to learn what all this deep thinking produces.