The Consultants Who Stole Christmas

“ While decorations are intended to create a festive atmosphere….Many decorative items can pose a potential fire hazard that could result in a disaster.” -excerpted official ACMC memo

If our leaders would come down on mismanagement half as hard as they came down on Christmas, the hospital would be in the black by now. Managers were also treated to sermon on politically correct and administratively approved language to describe the holidays. They’re taking the bull by the horns on this one. Caregivers speculate that the rash of holiday memos and directives is just Cambio’s not so subtle way of saying, “there will be no free Christmas dinner, we’re just too cheap.”

So aside from the recent morale boosters, what’s up? Well Highland nurses, many of whom already have other jobs, get more discouraged by the day. Senior management continues to heap more menial administrative tasks on the already overburdened clinicians. Nurses are now responsible for getting the History and Physical Exam form from the physician and faxing it to the pharmacy. Come on guys, everyone should be responsible for their own paperwork and getting it where it has to go. So starting last week nurses the hapless middle women of this misadventure began faxing all these forms to the pharmacy. The pharmacy ran out of fax paper and started calling back nursing stations to complain about the deluge of paper. This new plan would have been really bad for morale, but since on many nursing floors less than half the staff is permanent, the temps, travelers and registry could care less. They don’t worry about paperwork. Normal management wouldn’t try to run a McDonalds with less than half regular staff, but Cambio seems to think you can run an ICU this way. Oh, well.

Cambio’s keeping the budget lines down by not spending. You need 65 signatures to spend cash and at any given time 20 of those signatures are in Tennessee, Texas or just resting up at the Hilton. Parts don’t get bought, machines don’t get fixed and even the rare nurse who wants work at the medical center doesn’t get hired. Hey, I bet that budget’s looking better though.